Monkey Money and Rappin Rodent

Dear Diary,

Whoa! I have been studying, working, and making monkeys! John had to go on Cobra and some friends wanted some monkeys after Gooch did the photo shoot so I have been making monkeys. I decided that instead of giving the monkeys away I would sell them then I could donate the money to the Cystic Fibrosis foundation. Then I thought Hey! I've got my little 25 year old cyst(That used to drive mama and me crazy when the nurses at the Birmingham Children's Hospital would call him "The Little Cyst" but now it is kind of funny!) right here that could use the money. Hell I could even use the money for my college tuition but, It will be fun to see if I can make his Cobra payment with Monkey Money! No more giving away monkeys. Over! Done! I'm selling those suckers. So far - $65.00 and it is only the 18th. I'm optimistic but don't think it will get paid by monkey money this month. Of course he balked when I told him my plan.

I found a stuffed Rat called the Rappin Rat that Raps that "It's your Birthday". Mini Me used to sing it in that commercial. You might not know this but that is my mamas special talent. She does a Mini Me routine with the hand motions and everything. It is really something to see. She was a hit at the last family talent show. I'm afraid that sista Janice will win hands down if she does her imitation of Little Edie performing the flag dance. Her costume and moves are so like Little Edie's that it will take your breath away. But back to my story..... I thought this rappin Rat would make a great Christmas present for my Mama. I saw him at CVS drugstore, my creative juices started churning and the idea of a rappin sock monkey came to mind. The perfect Christmas gift for my Mom. I bought it , brought it home and told Ian and his friend my idea. They loved it. That night after a few cocktails I carefully cut off his costume and beheaded him. Then I proceeded to make a sock monkey to fit over the shell. I got the arms on and was figuring out how to add the head/body when it started going off and repeating the rap over and over and over. I had accidentally cut through some wires so only one arm was moving to the rhythm and where the head had been a white plastic nub was rotating. Every time I tried to maneuver the sock, the damn thing would start playing again. My husband was starting to complain. Then it came to me that I could just remove the batteries but when I checked the battery holder the cover was screwed in. But, not with a hex head or slot screw, a new kind of screw. I guess I'll need a tool to get it open.

I need to go to Lowe's tomorrow anyway. The Poinsettias are 1/2 price.