Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What Do I Do with my Face?

Dear Diary,

Last night I had a dream but unlike Martin Luther King, I dreamed that I was late for a school play, hadn't memorized my lines, a flood was preventing me from getting to the theater, darling, and I was not wearing a bra.

On the upside, my breasts were firm and perky.

This was a change from my usual anxiety dream.  In "IT" I come to after having amnesia or being in a drunken blackout for two days.  I have no idea where I have been or what I have done.  I do know that I had a great time but have thoroughly shamed my family.

I haven't written in my diary for so long that I am rusty at sharing my inner most thoughts and desires.  Must be the reason for the dream.

Right now, I smell like a wet dog.  My Buddy just jumped on me after a swim in the pool and wants to make out.  He is such a loving dog but I don't have time for that now.

My daughter came to me for some advice the other day.  She wanted to know what she should do with her face when her boyfriend played the guitar for her.  She was particularly anxious because he had promised to write her a song and she knew he would be playing it and singing to her in the near future.

I was happy that this was her problem because I was serenaded frequently in my day so had experience in this.  First I showed her the sweetly entertained look and instructed her how to rock her shoulders, neck and head from side to side with the beat of the music.  Her eyes should be as wide as her smile.  Or she could go with a surprised look, eyes wide again but her mouth in the shape of an O.  She would need to place her hands on her cheeks simultaneously.    Of course if she didn't want to encourage his behavior she could throw her hands over her ears, moan and scowl. 

I met some friends for drinks Saturday night and was surprised that none of them had ever experienced this form of courtship.  They did have ideas on what Elizabeth should do with her face and some interesting hand gestures to emphasize her look.