Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Dear Diary,

I secretly started a Christmas Tradition so many years ago I can't even recall when. It was and still is one of the best ideas I every had. I buy myself a Christmas gift or so just in case I don't like what I get. Everyone wins because I'm joyous and not pouting over the holidays. I think it all started when I was married to Voldemort and our first Christmas together, he bought me red long handled underwear. When confronted with my bitter tears and hysteria his thoughtful response was "Well, you've been saying you're cold!"

Enough about that.....

Isn't this Fairy adorable! My scanning does not do it justice. It is brighter and a lot more colorful in real life. I bought it for myself for Christmas at Marsha from Tumble Fish Studio's Etsy Shop. When my sister Sarah Ann was visiting I found the perfect frame for it. Marsha is so creative and full of energy! I love following her blog and seeing what she is up to. Ya'll check her out at

I know what this little fairy is thinking. She hates to do laundry, there is always a pile of laundry on the floor and she just discovered that she put Ian's favorite white South Park T-shirt in with the darks and it is now a faded dingy looking blue. Hence the dunce cap!

Friday, December 26, 2008

New Red Monkeys!

Dear Diary,

I have been making Monkeys for a few days. Red sock monkeys - Scarlet's sisters. My friend who/whom I would take an enema for (I really love her cause this is worse than a bullet!) wanted me to make a red sock monkey for her friend. I don't know this friend but I'm sure she is wonderful. So I finally found some red cable socks at target. After making Miss Rouge, I noticed that her stuffing kind of shows through. So my next trip to target I bought girls red tights. These were thicker and the stuffing does not show through so much. Now I have made a sister named Cissy Crimson. I think I'll have to switch colors because I can't think of any more monkey names that have to do with red. Unless Holly Berry would work.

The last week of school I learned about the legend of the Holly Berry. I thought that was so funny because it sounded so much like Halley Berry! Do you think her mother realized this when she named her? When is Halley Berry's birthday? I hope it is not around Christmas.

Tonight I started making a small red sock monkey out of 2 1/2 to 5 size red socks. I think I'll name her Holly Berry.

The top picture is the one made from the cable knit socks - she is definitely not as graceful as her sister made from girl's tights. But that's another story.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas Family Newsletters

Dear Diary,

I wonder if everyone makes fun of the family newsletters they receive? We certainly do. I love to get them with Christmas cards and I love to find out what is happening in friends'and families' lives but just can't hold back the sniggering. Maybe I'm just jealous.

I tried to write a Christmas letter earlier. I stared at the screen for about 5 minutes then wrote:

December 18, 2008

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy Holidays!

Same Shit Different Year.


The Schells

Please excuse my mood today.

P.S. The picture above is one I mocked up using photoshop for one of my sister's friends. (She was in her Halloween costume. Got the man off the internet.)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Would you like to swing on a star?

Or would you rather be a toddler in the early 60's

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a while! I have been having trouble with my printer uploading pictures from my camera memory card. I couldn't figure out what the problem could be till my daughter confessed that her memory card got stuck in it and she had to remove it with a paper clip! We have also been busy at school and here at home and blah, blah, blah... But enough about my angst.

This is a picture of two of my sisters. Janice is looking so happy and Sarah Ann looks like she is not getting enough attention. I have Adobe Elements 5 and just got Adobe Elements 7. Blah, Blah, I've only had time to install it no time yet to play with it. But I did create a picture of Janice using the above and Adobe Elements 5. It was good clean fun! Usually when I collage I have glue stuck everywhere, unidentifiable grit under my fingernails, and a mess spread out over and under the table. But, Collaging with Adobe is mess free!

The inspiration for this piece is the song we used to sing in music with Miss Tubbs at Fairview Elementary - "Would you like to Swing on a Star". (I don't know if that's the name but it is definitely the chorus!

Have a great week!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Sweet Potato Queen gets a suck-up gift

Dear Diary

(The reason why I use this opening is because of my older sister Lucy. She thinks blog writing is a peculiar pastime. She can't understand why someone would want to share their hopes, dreams, and personal angst with the world wide web. For her benefit, I try to start each tale off with dear diary . But like most other things - Sometimes I forget. Here's to you Lucy!)

I was looking through some old pictures and found these of the lovely Sweet Potato Queen. She came out to Arizona in January 2008, all the way from Madison, Mississippi. She was on her book tour. I'm sure you have all heard of her books! My favorite is The Sweet Potato Queen's Big-Ass Cookbook and Financial Planner. (I know this is supposed to be underlined because it is a book title but I don't know how to do it!)

I made Ian's birthday cake using one of the recipe's and it was so good! I almost went into a diabetic seizure.

The first picture is of me giving the Sweet Potato Queen a Palo Verde Gal with a sweet potato on her dress. I had heard she (Jill Conner Browne) liked to get suck up gifts and as I was in the mood a week before she came I decided to make one.

The second picture was a gift I gave her as conversation fodder. I had been to the local Fry's grocery store the day before. Pushing my cart and humming to my self when I spied a side stack of Instant Sweet Potatoes! I let out an audible gasp and touched my right hand to my fore head. (If canned sweet potatoes aren't bad enough!) Since I knew I was going to see the Queen that week I thought I'd buy those for her. I was sure they were not sold east of the Mississippi.

As I suspected, It was a shock to her too. She said her Daddy was probably rolling over in his grave! I totally agreed with her.

Thinking back, I bet Arizona was a test market for those because I haven't seen them since. I do know that no self respecting southerner would ever seriously buy those to bake. is Jill Conner Browne's official website. My sisters have been to the parade and parties in Jackson but I never have been. They had a lot of fun stories to tell when they got back. It's on my list. I'll make it one of these years.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Running on half a hormone pill

Look out world, I'm running on only one of my hormone pills! How can I have some left in one bottle and none in the other? I guess I must have had too many hormones some other time. It's a good thing I have my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. pill box now!

I'm behind on my blogging and on my blog reading! But I did stop in Mystic Paper yesterday! Mike was teaching a class on using glimmer y supplies. It was funny to think of that big guy teaching about shiny, glittery, fairy princess products. I bought some fun things.

Frank and I took a business trip to the Lone Butte Casino. His company put the fire sprinklers in. So, we had to check them out and while we were there we thought we might as well gamble.

To make a long story short. Frank lost his money pretty quick on the blackjack tables and I didn't have enough time to lose all mine since I had found a pretty lucky poker machine. I spent what I had left and a little more at Mystic Paper. It was good to see Kim. She showed me the art Judy Bidwell has just had published in Sew Somerset. I was super impressed.

Well, I better go to school. The party's over.