Sunday, February 28, 2010

I haven't gone anywhere but I have been away.

Dear Diary,

I think I'm getting eccentric. Yesterday I went to PET SMART to get Buddy some treats. I left the store and was in the parking lot looking for my car and I said out loud, "Buddy, where did I park my car?." I do talk to Buddy a lot but I have never talked to him when he wasn't with me. It stunned me for about a 1/2 minute. Good thing too because as I stood there in the parking lot thinking about what I had just done, I spotted my car.

I was walking towards it when I heard a sharp toot of someone's car horn. Was that toot directed at me? I turned and stared in the direction of the sound. There was a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. She asked me how I was doing. I told her, then I asked her what she had been doing and she told me! She had had a heart attack! She is about my age so this was surprising. She said two of her arteries were clogged and she actually had to be revived! I thought immediately of "the light". I wanted to ask her about "the light" did she see "the light"? What else did she see? Did she see her life flash? Did she have last minute regrets? Had she since changed anything in her life besides the doctor's requirements? She began to tell me about her open heart surgery but I couldn't focus. What is the etiquette for asking about the light? She got my attention back when she said, "Yes, the heart attack was a surprise because I am not o'beast or anything. My senses sharpened. Did I hear that right? Did she say o'beast? I agreed, "You certainly aren't!" Then she said it again. "I am not o'beast." She is correct, yes, that is true. She is not o'beast.

I wondered if I was. February is my one year anniversary with Jenny. I have lost and gained the same two or three pounds over and over, but, I have managed to keep off 6 pounds. Surely these results are not typical!


eclectic archivist said...

Congratulations on the loss of your 6 pounds...that is a BIG deal...and NO you're not o'beast!
Welcome back...I've missed you!

Leslie said...

I've missed your blog...I have checked every day and found the wonderful Mandingo piece. And it does invite repeated readings. But I want more of your unparalleled insight to the world! And I certainly agree with Eclectic: you are not o'beast.

icandy... said...

We've missed you, so glad to have you back...just in time for Spring!
Congrats, girl~ keep up the good work!

Michele said...

So glad to read a new diary entry. Thank you so much for the laugh (I've read it twice and it still makes me giggle out loud), though I am sorry to hear about your friends heart attack, glad she is doing well now. And good to know, neither of you are o'beast. :)

Too bad you didn't ask about the light though, that's something I'm always interested in hearing about. :)

Tumble Fish Studio said...

You are such a good story teller. I think you should have a column somewhere you get paid to write it. But I'm glad you give it all to us for free. I, too, particularly liked the Mandingo story. But this one is funny ... I have no tact so I just would've asked. I want to know too. I wished my dad was more coherent so I could ask him more about what he was seeing as he was dying. For days as his body slowed down he seemed to "be with" people that were all still alive - lots of friends were visiting him all hours of the day and he would ask me why people were bringing him pie in the middle of the night (of course no one was but it was interesting to me "who" visited him). As he got closer to dying the people that he "spoke with" had all died before him, many years and years earlier. He told my brother that as felt himself slipping, about 10 days before he actually died, that he kept realizing he was on a boat crossing a river (and my dad loved being on any kind of boat on any kind of water) and that behind him were all the people he didn't want to leave and in front of him were all the people that had already gone on and were waving him over and he had to figure out how to get it to the other side. A couple of days before he died, he would tell me we were on a boat. (at the time I didn't know what he had told my brother about being on the boat) Anyway, I will tell you that often as his body chemistry was changing and he was hallucinating (not necessarily from pain meds cuz he didn't have that much - his body chemistry was just affecting his thinking and his reality) we were often in places I had lived as I was growing up and doing things we had done when we were younger. For me, that was the "flash" of his life he had lived up to that moment. It's a fascinating subject. Yes, I would have been wanting to ask the same thing. As far as "o'beast" - that's an interesting psychological slip, isn't it? Hmmm, so much to think about. Wish we were over a cup of coffee (for you as I drink Coke) to discuss in person! Until then, keep writing your lovely entertaining stories cuz we all love them.

House of Hullabaloo said...

Ya'll sure do know how to make a girl feel good about herself!

Very interesting about your dad's thoughts Marsha. Wow! I hope you journaled all that some where. I love the thought of a boat taking us from one place to another and seeing old friends and family again...

Anonymous said...

I like the retro look of your blog